For some days he did not seem able to read anything but the Gospels
and the Baptismal Service; and at length, after a long silence, he
said, 'Mr. Audley, if your sermon is finished, can you listen to me?
May I be baptized?'
Then indeed the Curate's heart bounded, but he had to keep himself
restrained. The father's consent he had secured beforehand, but he
thought Fernando ought to write to him; and it was also needful to
consult the Rector as to the length of actual preparation and
probation.
Then, when the question came, 'Can I indeed be like Felix and
Lancelot' the reply had to be cautious. 'You will be as entirely
pardoned, as entirely belonging to the holiness within and without,
as they; but how far you will have the consciousness, I cannot tell;
and it is very probable that your temptations may be harder. Guilt
may be forgiven, while habits retain their power; and they have been
guarded, taught self-restraint, and had an example before them in
their father, such as very few have been blessed with.'
Fernando sighed long and sadly, and said, 'Then you do not think it
will make much difference.'
'The difference between life and death! But you must expect to have
to believe rather than feel.
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