His father, as a clever man
of the world, hated and prohibited the practice; but Fernando had
what could easily become a frenzy for that excitement of the lazy
south, and even while he had seen it in its consequences, the intense
craving for the amusement had mastered him more than once, when
loathing the dulness and weariness of his confinement, and shrinking
from the doctrines he feared to accept. He knew it was dishonourable-
--yet he had given way; and he felt like one utterly stained,
unpardonable, hopeless: but there was less exaggeration in his state
of mind than in the early morning, and when Mr. Audley dwelt on the
Hope of sinners, his eyes glistened and brightened; and at the
further words that held out to him the assurance that all these sins
might be washed away, and he himself enabled to begin a new life, his
looks shone responsively; but he shook his head soon--'It went away
from him,' he said; poor boy! 'it was too great and good to be true.'
Then Mr. Audley put prayer before him as a means of clinging even
blindly to the Cross that he was barely beginning to grasp, and the
boy promised. He would do anything they would, could he but hope to
be freed from the horrible weight of sense of hopeless pollution that
had come upon him.
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