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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

They'd say there was a
land speculation to the bottom of it, or water privilege to put into
the market, or a plaister rock to get off, or some such scheme. They
would, I snore. But I hope I may never see daylight agin, if there's
sich a country in all our great nation, as the VI-cinity of Windsor.
"Now it's jist as like as not, some goney of a Bluenose, that seed
us from his fields, sailin' up full split, with a fair wind on
the packet, went right off home and said to his wife, 'Now do for
gracious' sake, mother, jist look here, and see how slick them
folks go along; and that captain has nothin' to do all day, but sit
straddle legs across his tiller, and order about his sailors, or
talk like a gentleman to his passengers; he's got most as easy a time
of it as Ami Cuttle has, since he took up the fur trade, a-snarin'
rabbits. I guess I'll buy a vessel, and leave the lads to do the
ploughin' and little chores; they've growed up now to be considerable
lumps of boys.' Well, away he'll go, hot foot (for I know the
critters better nor they know themselves), and he'll go and buy some
old wrack of a vessel, to carry plaister, and mortgage his farm to
pay for her. The vessel will jam him up tight for repairs and new
riggin', and the sheriff will soon pay him a visit (and he's a most
particular troublesome visitor that; if he once only gets a slight
how-d'ye-do acquaintance, he becomes so amazin' intimate arterwards,
a-comin' in without knockin', and a-runnin' in and out at all hours,
and makin' so plaguy free and easy, it's about as much as a bargain
if you can get clear of him afterwards).


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