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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"


"Now," said Mr. Slick, as we proceeded on our way, "that 'ere feller
is properly sarved, he got the most inferior article I had, and I
jist doubled the price on him. It's a pity he should be a-tellin' of
lies of the Yankees all the time; this will help him now to a little
grain of truth." Then mimicking his voice and manner, he repeated
Allen's words with a strong nasal twang, "'Most time for you to give
over the clock trade, I guess, for by all accounts they ain't worth
havin', and most infarnel dear too; folks begin to get their eyes
open.' Better for you, if you'd a had your'n open, I reckon; a joke
is a joke, but I consait you'll find that no joke. The next time you
tell stories about Yankee peddlers, put the wooden clock in with
the wooden punkin seeds, and hickory hams, will you? The Bluenoses,
Squire, are all like Zeb Allen; they think they know everything, but
they get gulled from year's eend to year's eend. They expect too much
from others, and do too little for themselves. They actilly expect
the sun to shine, and the rain to fall, through their little House of
Assembly. 'What have you done for us?' they keep axin' their members.
'Who did you spunk up to last Session?' jist as if all legislation
consisted in attackin' some half dozen puss proud folks at Halifax,
who are jist as big noodles as they be themselves.


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