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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

I actilly have nothin' left to set afore you; for it was none
o' your skim-milk parties, but superfine uppercrust, real jam, and we
made clean work of it. But I'll make some tea, anyhow, for you, and
perhaps, arter that,' said she, alterin' of her tone, 'perhaps you'll
expound the Scriptures, for it's one while since I've heerd them laid
open powerfully. I hain't been fairly lifted up since that good man
Judas Oglethorp travelled this road,' and then she gave a groan and
hung down her head, and looked corner-ways, to see how the land lay
thereabouts. The tea-kettle was accordingly put on, and some lard
fried into oil, and poured into a tumbler; which, with the aid of an
inch of cotton wick, served as a make shift for a candle.
"Well, arter tea we sot and chatted awhile about fashions, and
markets, and sarmons, and scandal, and all sorts o' things; and, in
the midst of it, in runs the nigger wench, screemin' out at the tip
eend of her voice, 'Oh Missus! Missus! there's fire in the dairy,
fire in the dairy!' 'I'll give it to you for that,' said the old
lady, 'I'll give it you for that, you good-for-nothin' hussy; that's
all your carelessness; go and put it out this minit; how on airth
did it get there? My night's milk gone, I dare say; run this minit
and put it out, and save the milk.' I am dreadful afeard of fire, I
always was from a boy, and seein' the poor foolish critter seize a
broom in her fright, I ups with the tea-kettle and follows her; and
away we clipt through the entry, she callin' out 'Mind the cellar
door on the right!' 'Take kear of the close horse on the left!' and
so on, but as I couldn't see nothin', I kept right straight ahead.


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