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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"


When anything is wanted, then there is a general overhaul of the
whole cargo, and away they get shifted forrard, one by one, all
handled over and chucked into a heap together till the lost one is
found; and the next time, away they get pitched to the starn agin,
higglety pigglety, heels over head, like sheep takin' a split for
it over a wall; only they increase in number each move, 'cause some
on 'em are sure to get broke into more pieces than they was afore.
Whenever I see one of these grand houses, and a hat lookin' out o'
the winder, with nary head in it, think I, I'll be darned if that's
a place for a wooden clock--nothin' short of a London touch would go
down with them folks, so I calculate I won't alight.
"Whenever you come to such a grand place as this, Squire, depend
on't the farm is all of a piece--great crops of thistles, and an
everlastin' yield of weeds, and cattle the best fed of any in the
country, for they are always in the grain fields or mowin' lands,
and the pigs a-rootin' in the potato patches. A spic and span new gig
at the door, shinin' like the mud banks of Windsor, when the sun's
on 'em, and an old wrack of a hay wagon, with its tongue onhitched,
and stickin' out behind, like a pig's tail, all indicate a big man.
He's above thinkin' of farmin' tools, he sees to the bran' new
gig, and the hired helps look arter the carts.


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