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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

There's old Joe Crowe, I believe in
my conscience he will live for ever.' The biddin' then went on, and
he was sold for six shillings a week. Well, the poor critter gave one
long, loud, deep groan, and then folded his arms over his breast,
so tight that he seemed tryin' to keep in his heart from bustin'. I
pitied the misfortinate wretch from my soul; I don't know as I ever
felt so streaked afore. Not so his wife, she was all tongue. She
begged and prayed, and cryed, and scolded, and talked at the very tip
eend of her voice, till she became, poor critter, exhausted, and went
off in a faintin' fit, and they ketched her up and carried her out to
the air, and she was sold in that condition.
"Well I couldn't make head or tail of all this, I could hardly
believe my eyes and ears; so, says I, to John Porter--him that
has that catamount of a wife, that I had such a touss with--'John
Porter,' says I, 'who ever seed or heerd tell of the like of this,
what under the sun does it all mean? What has that 'ere critter done
that he should be sold arter that fashion?' 'Done?' said he, 'why
nothin', and that's the reason they sell him. This is town meetin'
day, and we always sell the poor for the year, to the lowest bidder.
Them that will keep them for the lowest sum, gets them.' 'Why,' says
I, 'that feller that bought him is a pauper himself, to my sartin
knowledge.


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