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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

He went like the wind, full split. He was
jist beginnin' to warm on the subject, and I knew if he did, what
wonderful bottom he had; how he would hang on for ever a'most; so,
says I, 'I think so too, minister, I like the country, I always sleep
better there than in towns; it ain't so plaguy hot, nor so noisy
neither, and then it's a pleasant thing to set out on the stoop and
smoke in the cool, ain't it? I think,' says I, 'too, Minister, that
that 'ere uncommon handsum cider of your'n desarves a pipe, what
do you think?' 'Well,' says he, 'I think myself a pipe wouldn't be
amiss, and I got some real good Varginny, as you e'enamost ever seed,
a present from Rowland Randolph, an old college chum; and none the
worse to my palate, Sam, for bringin' bygone recollections with
it. Phoebe, my dear,' said he to his darter, 'bring the pipes and
tobacco.' As soon as the old gentleman fairly got a pipe in his
mouth, I give Phoebe a wink, as much as to say, warn't that well
done? That's what I call a most particular handsum fix. He can talk
now (and that I do like to hear him do), but he can't make a speech,
or preach a sarmon, and that I don't like to hear him do, except on
Sabbath day, or up to Town Hall, on oration times.
"Minister was an uncommon pleasant man--for there was nothin' a'most
he didn't know--except when he got his dander up, and then he did
spin out his yarns for everlastinly.


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