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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

It
looked as dark as Egypt. 'For shame!' says he, 'Sam, that's ondecent;
and let me tell you that a man that jokes on such subjects, shows
both a lack of wit and sense too. I like mirth, you know I do, for
it's only the Pharisees and hypocrites that wear long faces, but then
mirth must be innocent to please me; and when I see a man make merry
with serious things, I set him down as a lost sheep. That comes of
your speculatin' to Lowell; and, I vow, them factorin' towns will
corrupt our youth of both sexes, and become hotbeds of iniquity. Evil
communications endamnify good manners, as sure as rates; one scabby
sheep will infect a whole flock--vice is as catchin' as that nasty
disease the Scotch have, it's got by shakin' hands, and both eend
in the same way--in brimstone. I approbate domestic factories, but
nothin' further for us. It don't suit us or our institutions. A
republic is only calculated for an enlightened and vartuous people,
and folks chiefly in the farmin' line. That is an innocent and a
happy vocation. Agriculture was ordained by Him as made us, for our
chief occupation.'
"Thinks I, here's a pretty how do you do; I'm in for it now, that's a
fact; he'll jist fall to and read a regular sarmon, and he knows so
many by heart he'll never stop. It would take a Philadelphia lawyer
to answer him.


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