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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

' Said I, in a whisper, says I, 'Leave her
to me, John Porter; jist take the horses up to the barn, and see
after them, and I'll manage her for you, I'll make her as sweet as
sugary candy, never fear.' The barn, you see, is a good piece off
to the eastward of the house; and, as soon as he was cleverly out
of hearin', says I, a-imitatin' of his voice to the life, 'Do let me
in, Jane,' says I, 'that's a dear critter; I've brought you home some
things you'll like, I know.' Well, she was an awful jealous critter;
says she, 'Take 'em to her you spent the evenin' with, I don't want
you nor your presents neither.' Arter a good deal of coaxin' I stood
on t'other tack, and began to threaten to break the door down; says
I, 'You old unhansum lookin' sinner, you vinerger cruet you, open
the door this minit or I'll smash it right in.' That grigged her
properly, it made her very wrathy (for nothin' sets up a woman's
spunk like callin' her ugly; she gets her back right up like a cat
when a strange dog comes near her; she's all eyes, claws and
bristles).
"I heerd her bounce right out of bed, and she came to the door as she
was, ondressed, and onbolted it; and, as I entered it, she fetched
me a box right across my cheek with the flat of her hand, that made
it tingle agin. 'I'll teach you to call names agin,' says she, 'you
varmint.


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