I'll tell you how it was.
"I was down to the Island a-sellin' clocks, and who should I meet but
John Porter; well, I traded with him for one, part cash, part truck
and proDUCE, and also put off on him that 'ere bark-mill you heerd me
axin' about, and it was pretty considerable on in the evenin' afore
we finished our trade. I came home along with him, and had the clock
in the wagon to fix it up for him, and to show him how to regilate
it. Well, as we neared his house, he began to fret and take on
dreadful oneasy; says he, 'I hope Jane won't be abed, 'cause if she
is she'll act ugly, I do suppose.' I had heerd tell of her afore; how
she used to carry a stiff upper lip, and make him and the broomstick
well acquainted together; and, says I, 'Why do you put up with her
tantrums, I'd make a fair division of the house with her, if it was
me; I'd take the inside and allocate her the outside of it pretty
quick, that's a fact.' Well, when we came to the house, there was no
light in it, and the poor critter looked so streaked and down in the
mouth, I felt proper sorry for him. When he rapped at the door, she
called out, 'Who's there?' 'It's me, dear,' says Porter. 'You, is
it,' said she, 'then you may stay where you be, them as gave you your
supper, may give you your bed, instead of sendin' you sneakin' home
at night like a thief.
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