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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

It fairly
makes me sick to see the folks, each on 'em a-backin' up of their
own man. 'At it agin!' says one; 'Fair play!' says another; 'Stick
it into him!' says a third; and 'That's your sort!' says a fourth.
Them are the folks who do mischief. They show such clear grit, it
fairly frightens me. It makes my hair stand right up on eend to see
ministers do that 'ere. IT APPEARS TO ME THAT I COULD WRITE A BOOK IN
FAVOUR OF MYSELF AND MY NOTIONS WITHOUT, WRITIN' AGIN ANY ONE, AND IF
I COULDN'T I WOULDN'T WRITE AT ALL, I SNORE. Our old minister, Mr.
Hopewell (a real good man, and a larned man too that), they sent to
him once to write agin the Unitarians, for they are a-goin' ahead
like statiee in New England, but he refused. Said he, 'Sam,' says he,
'when I first went to Cambridge, there was a boxer and wrastler came
there, and he beat every one wherever he went. Well, old Mr. Possit
was the Church of England parson at Charlestown, at the time, and a
terrible powerful man he was--a real sneezer, and as ACTIVE as a
weasel. Well, the boxer met him one day, a little way out of town,
a-takin' of his evenin' walk, and said he, "Parson," says he, "they
say you are a most a plaguy strong man and uncommon stiff too."
"Now," says he, "I never seed a man yet that was a match for me;
would you have any objection jist to let me be availed of your
strength here in a friendly way, by ourselves, where no soul would
be the wiser; if you will I'll keep dark about it, I swan.


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