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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

' He stopped
short, and looked me in the face, and says he, 'Mr. Slick you are a
man that has seed a good deal of the world, and a considerable of an
understandin' man, and I guess I can talk to you. Now,' says he, 'for
gracious sake do jist look here, and see how you heretics--protestants
I mean,' says he (for I guess that 'ere word slipped out without
leave), 'are by the ears, a-drivin' away at each other, the whole
blessed time, tooth and nail, hip and thigh, hammer and tongs,
disputin', revilin', wranglin', and beloutin' each other, with all
sorts of ugly names that they can lay their tongues to. Is that the
way you love your neighbour as yourself? WE SAY THIS IS A PRACTICAL
COMMENT ON SCHISM, and by the powers of Moll Kelly,' said he, 'but
they all ought to be well lambasted together, the whole batch on 'em
entirely.' Says I, 'Father John, give me your hand; there are some
things, I guess, you and I don't agree on, and most likely never will,
seein' that you are a Popish priest; but in that idee I do opinionate
with you, and I wish with all my heart all the world thought with us.'
"I guess he didn't half like that 'ere word Popish priest, it seemed
to grig him like; his face looked kinder riled, like well water arter
a heavy rain; and said he, 'Mr. Slick,' says he, 'your country is a
free country, ain't it?' 'The freest,' says I, 'on the face of the
airth--you can't "ditto" it nowhere.


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