It makes me so kinder wamblecropt when I think
on it, that I'm afeared to venture on matrimony at all. I have seen
some Bluenoses most properly bit, you may depend. You've seen a boy
a-slidin' on a most beautiful smooth bit of ice, hain't you, larfin',
and hoopin', and hallooin' like one possessed, when presently sowse
he goes in over head and ears? How he outs, fins, and flops about,
and blows like a porpoise properly frightened, don't he? and when he
gets out there he stands; all shiverin' and shakin', and the water
a squish-squashin' in his shoes, and his trousers all stickin'
slimsey-like to his legs. Well, he sneaks off home, lookin' like a
fool, and thinkin' everybody he meets is a-larfin' at him--many folks
here are like that 'ere boy, afore they have been six months married.
They'd be proper glad to get out of the scrape too, and sneak off if
they could, that's a fact. The marriage yoke is plaguy apt to gall
the neck, as the ash bow does the ox in rainy weather, unless it be
most particularly well fitted. You've seen a yoke of cattle that
warn't properly mated, they spend more strength in pullin' agin each
other, than in pullin' the load. Well that's apt to be the case with
them as choose their wives in sleighin' parties, quiltin' frolics,
and so on; instead of the dairies, looms, and cheese-houses.
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