A cabbage has
plaguy large leaves to the bottom, and spreads them out as wide as
an old woman's petticoats, to hide the ground it sprung from, and
conceal its extraction, but what's that to you? If they get too large
salaries, dock 'em down at once, but don't keep talkin' about it for
everlastinly. If you have too many sarvents, pay some on 'em off, or
when they quit your sarvice don't hire others in their room, that's
all; but you miss your mark when you keep firin' away at bankers,
lawyers, and public officers, the whole blessed time that way.
"'I went out a-gunnin' once when I was a boy, and father went along
with me to teach me. Well, the first flock of plover I seed I let
slip at 'em, and missed 'em. Says father, says he, "What a blockhead
you be, Sam, that's your own fault, they were too far off; you hadn't
ought to have fired so soon. At Bunker's hill we let the British come
right on till we seed the whites of their eyes, and then we let 'em
have it slap bang." Well, I felt kinder grigged at missin' my shot,
and I didn't over half like to be scolded too; so, says I, "Yes,
father; but recollect you had a mud bank to hide behind, where you
were proper safe, and you had a rest for your guns too; but as soon
as you seed a little more than the whites of their eyes, you run for
dear life, full split; and so I don't see much to brag on in that
arter all, so come now.
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