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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

'
That riled him properly; I meant that it should; so he ups and at me
awful spiteful like a bull; then I lets him have it, right, left,
right, jist three corkers, beginning with the right hand, shifting to
the left, and then with the right hand agin. This way I did it," said
the Clockmaker (and he showed me the manner in which it was done);
"it's a beautiful way of hitting, and always does the business--a
blow for each eye and one for the mouth. It sounds like ten pounds
ten on a blacksmith's anvil; I bunged up both eyes for him, and put
in the dead lights in two tu's, and drew three of his teeth, quicker
a plaguy sight than the Truro doctor could, to save his soul alive.
'Now,' says I, 'my friend, when you recover your eye-sight I guess
you'll see your mistake--I warn't born in the woods to be scared by
an owl. The next time you feel in a most particular elegant good
humour, come to me and I'll play you the second part of that
identical same tune, that's a fact.
"With that, I whistled for Old Clay, and back he comes, and I mounted
and off, jist as the crowd came up. The folks looked staggered, and
wondered a little grain how it was done so cleverly in short metre.
If I didn't quilt him in no time, you may depend; I went right slap
into him, like a flash of lightning into a gooseberry bush. He found
his suit ready made and fitted afore he thought he was half measured.


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