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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

He is a fool. If he is on t'other side,
a-railin' at banks, judges, lawyers and such cattle, and bawlin' for
what he knows he can't get, then he is a rogue. So that, if you were
to listen to the weak and noisy critters on both sides, you'd believe
the House of Assembly was one half rogues and t'other half fools. All
this arises from ignorance. IF THEY KNEW MORE OF EACH OTHER, I GUESS
THEY'D LAY ASIDE ONE HALF THEIR FEARS AND ALL THEIR ABUSE. THE UPPER
CLASSES DON'T KNOW ONE HALF THE VIRTUE THAT'S IN THE MIDDLIN' AND
LOWER CLASSES; AND THEY DON'T KNOW ONE HALF THE INTEGRITY AND GOOD
FEELIN' THAT'S IN THE OTHERS, AND BOTH ARE FOOLED AND GULLED BY THEIR
OWN NOISY AND DESIGNIN' CHAMPIONS. Take any two men that are by the
ears, they opinionate all they hear of each other, impute all sorts
of onworthy motives, and misconstrue every act; let them see more of
each other, and they'll find out to their surprise, that they have
not only been lookin' through a magnifyin' glass that warn't very
true, but a coloured one also, that changed the complexion and
distorted the feature, and each one will think t'other a very good
kind of chap, and like as not a plaguy pleasant one too.
"If I was axed which side was farthest from the mark in this
Province, I vow I should be puzzled to say. As I don't belong to
the country, and don't care a snap of my finger for either of 'em,
I suppose I can judge better than any man in it, but I snore I
don't think there's much difference.


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