' 'Did they, indeed?' said I; 'well, I guess it ain't pins and
needles that's the expense of house-keepin', it is something more
costly than that.' 'Well, some folks say it's the banks,' says
he. 'Better still,' says I; 'perhaps you've hearn tell, too, that
greasin' the axle, makes a gig harder to draw, for there's jist
about as much sense in that.' 'Well then,' says he, 'others say it's
smugglin' has made us so poor.' 'That guess,' said I, 'is most as
good as t'other one; whoever found out that secret ought to get a
patent for it, for it's worth knowin'. Then the country has grown
poorer, hasn't it, because it has bought cheaper this year, than it
did the year before? Why, your folks are cute chaps, I vow; they'd
puzzle a Philadelphia lawyer, they are so amazin' knowin'.' 'Ah,'
said he, and he rubb'd his hands and smiled, like a young doctor,
when he gets his first patient; 'ah,' said he, 'if the timber duties
are altered, down comes St. John, body and breeches; it's built on
a poor foundation--it's all show; they are speculatin' like mad;
they'll ruin themselves.' Says I, 'if you wait till they're dead for
your fortin', it will be one while, I tell you, afore you pocket the
shiners. It's no joke waitin' for a dead man's shoes. Suppose an old
feller of eighty was to say, "When that 'ere young feller dies, I'm
to inherit his property," what would you think? Why, I guess you'd
think he was an old fool.
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