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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

Then he walked round and about like a pig round
the fence of a potato field, a-watchin' for a chance to cut in; so,
thinks I, I'll jist give him something to talk about, when he gets
back to the city; I'll fix a Yankee handle on to him in no time.
"'How's times to Halifax, sir,' said I. 'Better,' says he, 'much
better. Business is done on a surer bottom than it was, and things
look bright agin.' 'So does a candle,' says I, 'jist afore it goes
out; it burns up ever so high and then sinks right down, and leaves
nothin' behind but grease, and an everlastin' bad smell. I guess they
don't know how to feed their lamp, and it can't burn long on nothin'.
No, sir, the jig is up with Halifax, and it's all their own fault. If
a man sits at his door, and sees stray cattle in his field, a-eatin'
up of his crop, and his neighbours, a-eatin' off his grain, and won't
so much as go and drive 'em out, why I should say it sarves him
right.'
"I don't exactly understand, sir,' said he. Thinks I, it would be
strange if you did, for I never see one of your folks yet that could
understand a hawk from a handsaw. 'Well,' says I, 'I will tell you
what I mean: draw a line from Cape Sable to Cape Cansoo, right
through the Province, and it will split it into two, this way;' and I
cut an apple into two halves; 'now,' says I, 'the worst half, like
the rotten half of the apple, belongs to Halifax, and the other and
sound half belongs to St.


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