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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

' He was in great
spirits, the old man, he was so proud of winnin' the race, and
puttin' the leake into the New Yorkers, he looked all dander. 'Let
them great hungry, ill-favoured, long-legged bitterns,' says he
(only he called them by another name that don't sound quite pretty),
'from the outlandish states to Congress, TALK ABOUT independence; but
Sam,' said he, hitting the shiners agin till he made them dance right
up an eend in his pocket, 'I LIKE TO FEEL IT.'
"'No Sam,' said he, 'line the pocket well first, make that
independent, and then the spirit will be like a horse turned out
to grass in the spring for the first time; he's all head and tail,
a-snortin' and kickin' and racin' and carryin' on like mad; it soon
gets independent too. While it's in the stall it may hold up, and
paw, and whinny, and feel as spry as anything, but the leather strap
keeps it to the manger, and the lead weight to the eend of it makes
it hold down its head at last. No,' says he, 'here's independence,'
and he gave the Eagles such a drive with his fist, he bust his pocket
and sent a whole raft of them a-spinnin' down his leg to the ground.
Says I, 'father,' and I swear I could hardly keep from larfin', he
looked so peskily vexed, 'Father,' says I, 'I guess there's a moral
in that 'ere too: EXTREMES NARY WAY ARE NONE O' THE BEST.


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