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Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

The multitude are always fickle-minded. Our
great Washington found that out, and the British officer that beat
Bonaparte, the bread they gave him turned sour afore he got half
through the loaf. His soap had hardly stiffened afore it ran right
back to lye and grease agin.
"'I was sarved the same way. I liked to have missed my pension; the
Committee said I warn't at Bunker's hill at all, the villans. That
was a Glo---' Thinks I, old boy, if you once get into that 'ere
field, you'll race longer than colt, a plaguy sight; you'll run clear
away to the fence to the far eend afore you stop, so I jist cut in
and took a hand myself. 'Yes,' says I, 'you did 'em father, properly;
that old wagon was a bright scheme, it led 'em on till you got 'em on
the right spot, didn't it?' Says father, 'THERE'S A MORAL SAM, IN
EVERYTHING IN NATUR'. Never have nothin' to do with elections, you
see the vally of popularity in the case of that 'ere horse--sarve the
public nine hundred and ninety-nine times, and the thousandth, if
they don't agree with you, they desart and abuse you. See how they
sarved old John Adams, see how they let Jefferson starve in his old
age, see how good old Munroe like to have got right into jail, after
his term of President was up. They may talk of independence,' says
father, 'but Sam, I'll tell you what independence is,' and he gave
his hands a slap agin his trousers pocket, and made the gold eagles
he won at the race all jingle agin--'THAT!' says he, giving them
another wipe with his fist, and winkin', as much as to say, do you
hear that, my boy! 'THAT I CALL INDEPENDENCE.


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