If a man is
so tarnation lazy he won't work, and in course has no money, why he
says it's all owin' to the banks, they won't discount, there's no
money, they've ruined the Province. If there bean't a road made up to
every citizen's door, away back to the woods--who as like as not has
squatted there--why he says the House of Assembly have voted all the
money to pay great men's salaries, and there's nothin' left for poor
settlers, and cross roads. Well, the lawyers come in for their share
of cake and ale, too; if they don't catch it, it's a pity.
"There was one Jim Munroe of Onion County, Connecticut, a desperate
idle fellow, a great hand at singin' songs, a-skatin', drivin' about
with the gals, and so on. Well, if anybody's windows were broke, it
was Jim Munroe, if any man's horse lost a tail, or anybody's dog got
a kettle tied on to his'n, it was Jim Munroe, and if there were any
youngsters in want of a father, they were sure to be poor Jim's. Jist
so it is with the lawyers here; they stand Godfathers for every
misfortune that happens in the country. When there is a mad dog
a-goin' about, every dog that barks is said to be bit by the mad one,
so he gets credit for all the mischief that every dog does for three
months to come. So every feller that goes yelpin' home from a court
house, smartin' from the law, swears he is bit by a lawyer.
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