You might as well catch a weasel asleep as catch
him. He had somethin' the matter with one eye; well, he knew I know'd
that when I was a boy; so one day, a feller presented a petition to
him, and he told him it was very affectin'. Says he, 'it fairly draws
tears from me,' and his weak eye took to lettin' off its water like
statiee so as soon as the chap went, he winks to me with t'other one,
quite knowin', as much as to say, 'You see it's all in my eye, Slick,
but don't let on to any one about it, that I said so.' That eye was a
regular cheat, a complete New England wooden nutmeg. Folks said Mr.
Adams was a very tender-hearted man. Perhaps he was, but I guess that
eye didn't pump its water out o' that place.
"Members in general ain't to be depended on, I tell you. Politics
makes a man as crooked as a pack does a peddler; not that they are so
awful heavy, neither, but it TEACHES A MAN TO STOOP IN THE LONG RUN.
Arter all, there's not that difference in 'em--at least there ain't
in Congress--one would think; for if one on 'em is clear of one
vice, why, as like as not, he has another fault just as bad. An
honest farmer, like one of these Cumberland folks, when he goes
to choose atwixt two that offers for votes, is jist like the
flying-fish. That 'ere little critter is not content to stay to home
in the water, and mind its business, but he must try his hand at
flyin', and he is no great dab at flyin', neither.
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