When reason fails to convince, there is nothin' left but ridicule.
If they have no ambition, apply to their feelings, slap a blister on
their pride, and it will do the business. It's like a-puttin' ginger
under a horse's tail; it makes him carry up real handSUM, I tell
you. When I was a boy, I was always late to school: well father's
preachin' I didn't mind much, but I never could bear to hear mother
say, 'Why Sam, are you actilly up for all day? Well, I hope your
airly risin' won't hurt you, I declare. What on airth is a-goin' to
happen now?' Well, wonders will never cease. It raised my dander; at
last says I, 'Now, mother, don't say that 'ere any more for gracious
sake, for it makes me feel ugly, and I'll get up as airly as any on
you,' and so I did, and I soon found what's worth knowin' in this
life--An airly start makes easy stages."
No. XIII
The Clockmaker's Opinion of Halifax.
The next morning was warmer than several that had preceded it. It was
one of those uncommonly fine days that distinguish an American autumn.
"I guess," said Mr. Slick, "the heat today is like a glass of mint
julip, with a lump of ice in it, it tastes cool and feels warm;
it's real good, I tell you. I love such a day as this dearly. It's
generally allowed the finest weather in the world is in America;
there ain't the beat of it to be found anywhere.
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