SEARCH
0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Prev | Current Page 49 | Next

Haliburton, Thomas Chandler, 1796-1865

"The Clockmaker"

"And," says he, "there's one manufacture that
might stump all Europe to produce the like." "What's that?" says I,
looking as pleased all the time as a gal that's tickled. "Why," says
he, "the 'facture of wooden nutmegs; that's a cap sheef that bangs
the bush--it's a real Yankee patent invention." With that all the
gentlemen set up a laugh, you might have heerd away down to Sandy
Hook, and the Gineral gig-gobbled like a great turkey-cock--the half
nigger, half alligator-like looking villain as he is. I tell you
what, Mr. Slick,' said the Professor, 'I wish with all my heart them
'ere damned nutmegs were in the bottom of the sea.' That was the
first oath I ever heerd him let slip: but he was dreadful riled, and
it made me feel ugly too, for it's awful to hear a minister swear;
and the only match I know for it, is to hear a regular sneezer of a
sinner quote Scripture. Says I, 'Mr. Everett, that's the fruit that
politics bears; for my part I never seed a good graft on it yet, that
bore anything good to eat, or easy to digest.'
"Well, he stood awhile looking down on the carpet, with his hands
behind him, quite taken up a-ciphering in his head, and then he
straightened himself up, and he put his hand upon his heart, just as
he used to do in the pulpit (he looked pretty I tell you), and slowly
lifting his hand off his breast, he said, 'Mr.


Pages:
37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61