How it would all turn out she
could not say, or even guess. But of one thing she was clear, and
to one thing she would hold fast: that was, that, come what
might, she would obey God's law, and, be the end of all what it
might, she would say, "Thy will be done!" She only asked for
strength enough to do this when the time came. How the time would
come--what speech or action would be requisite on her part she
did not know--she did not even try to conjecture. She left that
in His hands.
She was icy cold, but very calm, when the breakfast-bell rang.
She went down immediately; because she felt that there was less
chance of a recognition if she were already at her place behind
the tea-urn, and busied with the cups, than if she came in after
all were settled. Her heart seemed to stand still, but she felt
almost a strange exultant sense of power over herself. She felt,
rather than saw, that he was not there. Mr. Bradshaw and Mr.
Hickson were, and so busy talking election-politics that they did
not interrupt their conversation even when they bowed to her. Her
pupils sat one on each side of her. Before they were quite
settled, and while the other two gentlemen yet hung over the
fire, Mr. Donne came in. Ruth felt as if that moment was like
death. She had a kind of desire to make some sharp sound, to
relieve a choking sensation, but it was over in an instant, and
she sat on very composed and silent--to all outward appearance
the very model of a governess who knew her place.
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