But if you had the heart of a man you might have seen that you
were subjecting me to torture. I did not ask or expect that you
should care for me; but I had a right to hope for a little
kindness, a little manly and delicate consideration, a little
healing sympathy for the almost mortal wound that you have made.
But I now see that you have stood by and watched like a grand
inquisitor. Tell your friend that you have transformed the
thoughtless girl into a suffering woman. I cannot go to Brazil. I
cannot face dangers that might bring rest. I must keep my place in
society--keep it too under a hundred observant and curious eyes.
You have seen it all of late in this house; I was too wretched to
care. It was a part of my punishment, and I accepted it. I would
not be false again even in trying to conceal a secret which it is
like death to a woman to reveal. I only craved one word of
kindness from you. Had I received it, I would have gone away in
silence and suffered in silence. But your course and what I have
heard have made me reckless and despairing.
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