In
music I am at home. Why is not all life music? We instantly know when
we are going wrong there. Convince me it is for the best, and I will
go with you at once. But now it seems wrong, unwise, scarcely better
than to stay as we are. We must go secretly, must live obscurely in a
corner. That I cannot bear,--all is wrong yet. Why am I not at liberty
to declare unblushingly to all men that I will leave the man whom I
_do not_ love, and go with him I _do_ love? That is the only
way that would suit me,--I cannot see clearly to take any other
course."
I found V---- had no scruples of conscience, any more than herself. He
was wholly absorbed in his passion, and his only wish was to persuade
her to elope, that a divorce might follow, and she be all his own.
I took my part. I wrote next day to Emily. I told her that my view
must differ from hers in this: that I had, from early impressions, a
feeling of the sanctity of the marriage vow. It was not to me a
measure intended merely to insure the happiness of two individuals,
but a solemn obligation, which, whether it led to happiness or not,
was a means of bringing home to the mind the great idea of Duty, the
understanding of which, and not happiness, seemed to be the end of
life.
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