The more cause, since I had been entrapped and had
entrapped the girl into an undue situation, that I should behave in
it with scrupulous nicety. She depended on me wholly for her bread
and shelter; in case I should alarm her delicacy, she had no
retreat. Besides I was her host and her protector; and the more
irregularly I had fallen in these positions, the less excuse for me
if I should profit by the same to forward even the most honest
suit; for with the opportunities that I enjoyed, and which no wise
parent would have suffered for a moment, even the most honest suit
would be unfair. I saw I must be extremely hold-off in my
relations; and yet not too much so neither; for if I had no right
to appear at all in the character of a suitor, I must yet appear
continually, and if possible agreeably, in that of host. It was
plain I should require a great deal of tact and conduct, perhaps
more than my years afforded. But I had rushed in where angels
might have feared to tread, and there was no way out of that
position save by behaving right while I was in it. I made a set of
rules for my guidance; prayed for strength to be enabled to observe
them, and as a more human aid to the same end purchased a study-
book in law.
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