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Bacheller, Irving, 1859-1950

"Eben Holden, a tale of the north country"


Ranney turned t'other side an' then t'other an' the feller kep'
a slappin' hot 'n heavy. It was jes' like strappin' a razor fer half
a minnit. Then Ranney sailed in - gin him the wust lickin' he ever
hed.
'"I declare," says another man, after 'twas all over, "I thought you
was a Christian."
"Am up to a cert in p'int," says he. "Can't go tew fur not 'n these
parts - men are tew powerful. 'Twon't do 'less ye wan'if die
sudden. When he begun poundin' uv me I see I wan't eggzac'ly
prepared."
''Fraid 's a good deal thet way with most uv us. We're Christians up
to a cert'in p'int. Fer one thing, I think if a man'll stan' still an'
see himself knocked into the nex' world he's a leetle tew good fer this.'
The good lady began to preach and argue. For an hour Uncle Eb
sat listening unable to get in a word. When, at last, she left him he
came to us a look of relief in his face.
'I b'lieve,' said he, 'if Balaam's ass hed been rode by a woman he
never 'd hev spoke.'
'Why not?' I enquired.
'Never'd hev hed a chance,' Uncle Eb added.


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