"
"How can we," observed "The Metropolitan," "for we have not, like
you, a humorous department? We----"
There was a commotion. While these observations were going on
"Munsey's" and "Everybody's" were having a dispute.
"I publish sillier stuff than you," said "Munsey's."
"I defy you to prove it," said "Everybody's."
"Let's form a ring and have them fight it out," suggested a rank
outsider--"The Clipper."
At this, however, there was a protest from one hitherto silent. A
soft soprano voice spoke.
"Gentlemen," it said, "would you fight in the presence of ladies?"
Whereupon the rest of the magazines took off their hats, and one by
one lapsed into respectful silence, as THE LADIES' HOME JOURNAL,
arranging its skirts anew with gentle precision, passed out on its
way to church.
_Cheer Up, Everybody_
The visiting missionary at an almshouse stopped for a moment to speak
to a very old lady and inquire, after her health and welfare. "Thank
you, sir," replied the old lady. "Yes, indeed, I've a great deal to
be thankful for. I've two teeth left and they're opposite each
other.
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