The
goods were shipped immediately and reached home before he did. When
the boxes of goods were delivered at his store by the drayman his
wife happened to look at the largest; she uttered a loud cry and
called for a hammer. A neighbor, hearing the screams, rushed to her
assistance and asked what was the matter. The wife, pale and faint,
pointed to an inscription on the box which read as follows;
"Bill inside."
_All That Glisters is Not Gold_
One day an Irishman was seated in the waiting-room of a station with
an odorous pipe in his mouth. One of the attendants called his
attention to the sign: "No smoking."
"Well," said Pat, "I'm not a-smokin'."
"But you have a pipe in your mouth."
"Shure, an' I've shoes on me feet an' I'm not walkin'."
_Her Affectionate Brothers_
It was Commencement Day at a well-known girls' seminary, and the
father of one of the young women came to attend the graduation
exercises. He was presented to the principal, who said, "I
congratulate you, sir, upon your extremely large and affectionate
family.
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