"No, sor," replied Costigan; "he's gone."
"For good?"
"Well, sor, he wint in that direction."
_Music Touched His Heart_
A thief broke into a Madison Avenue mansion early the other morning
and found himself in the music-room. Hearing footsteps approaching,
he took refuge behind a screen.
From eight to nine o'clock the eldest daughter had a singing lesson.
From nine to ten o'clock the second daughter took a piano lesson.
From ten to eleven o'clock the eldest son had a violin lesson.
From eleven to twelve o'clock the other son had a lesson on the flute.
At twelve-fifteen all the brothers and sisters assembled and studied
an ear-splitting piece for voice, piano, violin and flute.
The thief staggered out from behind the screen at twelve-forty-five,
and falling at their feet, cried:
"For Heaven's sake, have me arrested!"
Some Amusing Blunders
A divine in drawing the attention of his congregation to a special
communion service on the following Sunday informed them that "the
Lord is with us in the forenoon and the Bishop in the evening.
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