"Grandpapa has married again,
although it was very much against the wishes of the family."
_He Thought She Ought to Know It_
"No, I haven't anything for you today. You are the man I gave some
pie to a fortnight ago?"
"Yis, lidy, thank you; I come back because I thought p'r'aps you'd
like to know I'm able to get about again."
_A Possible Substitute_
"What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?" asked the
customer of the new grocery clerk.
"Nothing but bananas, ma'am," was the reply.
_One on the Preachers_
The preachers in a certain coast town noted for its Sabbath
observance were greatly incensed over the fact that printed cards
bearing the name of a well-known shipbuilding firm had been received
by prominent citizens, inviting them to attend the launching of a
vessel on the next Sunday afternoon, the reason being given that the
tide was highest on that day.
Sunday came and in every church the launching was widely advertised
and denounced, and it was not until late in the day that some one
remembered it was April the first.
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