"
"Mercy," exclaimed a woman--"the burglar's legs?"
"No, my dear, my husband's legs. He had heard the noise, too."
_Didn't Think He Was Polite_
They were on their honeymoon. He had bought a catboat and had taken
her out to show her how well he could handle a boat, putting her to
tend the sheet. A puff of wind came, and he shouted in no uncertain
tones:
"Let go the sheet."
No response.
Then again:
"Let go that sheet, quick."
Still no movement. A few minutes after, when both were clinging to
the bottom of the overturned boat, he said:
"Why didn't you let go that sheet when I told you to, dear?"
"I would have," said the bride, "if you had not been so rough about
it. You ought to speak more kindly to your wife."
_He Had a Large Reach_
President Eliot, of Harvard, on a visit to the Pacific Coast, met
Professor O. B. Johnson, of the University of Washington, says "The
New York Tribune." In the course of the conversation President Eliot
asked the Westerner what chair he held.
"Well," said Professor Johnson, "I am professor of biology, but I
also give instruction in meteorology, botany, physiology, chemistry,
entomology and a few others.
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