"My gracious!" almost yelled the girl from Indiana, "didn't you know?
Why, the poor thing had her head cut off!"
_The After-College Girl's Complaint_
A lady was calling on some friends one summer afternoon. The talk
buzzed along briskly, fans waved and the daughter of the house kept
twitching uncomfortably, frowning and making little smothered
exclamations of annoyance. Finally, with a sigh, she rose and left
the room.
"Your daughter," said the visitor, "seems to be suffering from the
heat."
"No," said the hostess. "She is just back home from college and she
is suffering from the family grammar."
_It All Seemed So Unnecessary_
A city man once had occasion, says "Lippincott's Magazine," to stop at
a country home where a tin basin and a roller-towel on the back porch
sufficed for the family's ablutions. For two mornings the "hired man"
of the household watched in silence the visitor's efforts at making a
toilette under the unfavorable auspices, but when on the third day the
tooth-brush, nail-file, whisk-broom, etc., had been duly used and
returned to their places in the traveler's grip, he could suppress his
curiosity no longer, so boldly put the question: "Say, Mister, air you
always that much trouble to yo'se'f?"
_Overdid it a Bit_
A famous statesman prided himself on his success in campaigning, when
called upon to reach a man's vote through his family pride.
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