"Here's Life an' here's Liberty, but mommer sewed the Pursuit of
Happiness on my pants."
_He Remembered_
A restaurant-keeper hung out this sign:
"Coffee:
Such as Mother Used to Make."
A customer asked, pointing to the sign:
"Is your coffee really such as mother used to make?"
"It is," replied the proprietor.
"Then," said the man with a reminiscent look, "give me a cup of tea."
_Wasn't Delicate at All_
A young man, not regarded as a very desirable suitor, had called upon
a young lady a number of times, each time to be told by the maid that
"Miss Florence was not well today."
One day, in response to his card, the young lady's mother, who was a
recent accession to the newly-rich ranks, and whose education was not
as sure as it might be, appeared and explained once more to the young
man that the daughter was not well.
"I am very sorry, indeed," said the young man as he rose to go, "that
your daughter is so delicate."
"Delicate?" sniffed the mother; "Florence dell'cate? Not at all.
Why, she is the most indelicate girl you ever met.
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