"I hov not," said Pat.
"Have you read the Constitution of the United States?"
"I hov not, yer Honor."
The Judge looked sternly at the applicant, and asked:
"Well, what have you read?"
Patrick hesitated but the fraction of a second before replying:
"I hov red hairs on me neck, yer Honor."
_Apostle and Epistle_
A man riding through the mountains of Tennessee stopped one evening to
water his horse before a little cabin, outside of which sat an old
colored woman watching the antics of a couple of piccaninnies playing
near by.
"Good-evening, Aunty," he called. "Cute pair of boys you've got.
Your children?"
"Laws-a-massy! Mah chillun! 'Deed, dem's mah daughteh's chilluns.
Come hyah, you boys."
As the boys obeyed the summons the man inquired their names.
"Clah to goodness, sah, dem chilluns is right smaht named!" said the
old woman. "Ye see, mah daughteh done got 'ligion long ago, an' named
dese hyah boys right out de Bible, sah. Dis hyah one's named Apostle
Paul, an' de uddah's called Epistle Peter."
_More than Enough_
An eight-year-old boy went to a church picnic, and, being a favorite
with the ladies, had been liberally supplied with good things to eat.
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