How much have you?"
"A whole apple," said the boy.
"Well," continued the father, "suppose you had a half dollar and I
gave you another half dollar. What would you have then?"
"A fit," promptly answered the boy.
_A Valuable Office Boy_
The employer was bending over a table, looking at the directory. The
new office boy slipped up quietly and poked a note into his hand. The
surprised employer opened it, and read:
"Honored Sir--Yer pants is ripped."
_She Had a Question to Ask_
A certain prominent dry-goods merchant is also a Sunday-school
superintendent. Not long since he devoted the last few moments of the
weekly session to an impressive elucidation of the parable of the
Prodigal Son, and afterward asked with due solemnity if any one of the
"little gleaners" present desired to ask a question. Sissy Jones's
hand shot up.
"Very well," he said, designating her with a benevolent finger and a
bland smile, "what is it you would like to know, Cecilia?"
"Please, what's the price of them little pink parasols in your
show-window?"
_The Only Time When He Does_
A "Subscriber" once wrote to an editor and asked: "Please tell me,
does a man in running around a tree go before or behind himself?"
The editor answered:
"That depends.
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