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Various

"Good Stories from the Ladies' Home Journal"

The countryman
dug the required coin from the depths of a deep pocket and dropped it
in the slot. Instantly the machine delivered a card on which was
neatly printed:
"Make your coat and waistcoat first."

_After Many Trials_
He WAS a sad-faced American tourist, and as he seated himself in a
London restaurant he was immediately attended by an obsequious waiter.
"I want two eggs," said the American--"one fried on one side and one
on the other."
"'Ow is that, sir ?" asked the astounded waiter.
"Two eggs--one fried on one side and one on the other."
"Very well, sir."
The waiter was gone several minutes, and when he returned his face was
a study.
"Would you please repeat your border, sir?"
"I said, very distinctly, two eggs--one fried on one side and one on
the other."
Oppressive silence, and then a dazed "Very well, sir."
This time he was gone longer, and when he returned he said anxiously:
"Would it be awsking too much, sir, to 'ave you repeat your border,
sir? I cawn't think I 'ave it right, sir, y'know."
"Two eggs," said the American sadly and patiently--"one fried on one
side and one on the other.


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