_What Do You Think the Porter Did_?
A lady in the centre seat of the parlor car heard the request of a
fellow-passenger directly opposite asking the porter to open the
window, and, scenting a draft, she immediately drew a cloak about her.
"Porter, if that window is opened," she snapped testily, "I shall
freeze to death."
"And if the window is kept closed," returned the other passenger, "I
shall surely suffocate."
The poor porter stood absolutely puzzled between the two fires.
"Say, boss," he finally said to a commercial traveler seated near by,
"what would you do?"
"Do?" echoed the traveler. "Why, man, that is a very simple matter;
open the window and freeze one lady. Then close it and suffocate the
other."
_She Said It_
A visitor of noble birth was expected to arrive at a large country
house in the North of England, and the daughter of the house, aged
seven, was receiving final instructions from her mother.
"And now, dear," she said, "when the Duke speaks to you do not forget
always to say 'your Grace.'"
Presently the great man arrived, and after greeting his host and
hostess he said to the child, "Well, my dear, and what is your name?"
Judge of his surprise when the little girl solemnly closed her eyes
and with clasped hands exclaimed, "For what we are about to receive
may we be truly fankful, amen.
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