ANOTHER VOICE: She look jus' as good as you-all's Baptist pastor's
wife. Pshaw, you ain't seen no big woman, nohow, man. I seen one once
so big she went to whip her little boy and he run up under her belly
and hid six months 'fore she could find him.
ANOTHER VOICE: Well, I knowed a woman so little that she had to get up
on a soap box to look over a grain of sand.
(REV. SIMMS comes out of store, each child behind him sucking a stick
of candy.)
SIMMS: (To his children) Run on home to your mother and don't get
dirty on the way. (The two children start primly off down the street
but just out of sight one of them utters a loud cry.)
SIMMS'S CHILD: (Off stage) Papa, papa. Nunkie's trying to lick my
candy.
SIMMS: I told you to go on and leave them other children alone.
VOICE ON PORCH: (Kidding) Lum, whyn't you tend to your business.
(TOWN MARSHALL rises and shoos the children off again.)
LUM: You all varmints leave them nice chillun alone.
LIGE: (Continuing the lying on porch) Well, you all done seen so much,
but I bet you ain't never seen a snake as big as the one I saw when I
was a boy up in middle Georgia. He was so big couldn't hardly move his
self. He laid in one spot so long he growed moss on him and everybody
thought he was a log, till one day I set down on him and went to
sleep, and when I woke up that snake done crawled to Florida. (Loud
laughter.)
FRANK: (Seriously) Layin' all jokes aside though now, you all remember
that rattlesnake I killed last year was almost as big as that Georgia
snake.
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