If a person ain't half drownded in de lake and half
et up by alligators, y'all think he ain't baptized, so you can't take
communion wid him. Now I reckon you can't even drink lemonade and eat
chicken perlow wid us.
HAMBO: My Lord, boy, youse just _full_ of words. Now, in de first
place, if this year's picnic was lak de one y'all had last year ...
you ain't had no lemonade for us Baptists to turn down. You had a big
ole barrel of rain water wid about a pound of sugar in it and one
lemon cut up over de top of it.
LIGE: Man, you sho kin mold 'em!
WALTER: Well, I went to de Baptist picnic wid my mouf all set to eat
chicken, when lo and behold y'all had chitlings! Do Jesus!
LINDSAY: Hold on there a minute. There was plenty chicken at dat
picnic, which I do know is right.
WALTER: Only chicken I seen was half a chicken yo' pastor musta tried
to swaller whole cause he was choked stiff as a board when I come
long ... wid de whole deacon's board beating him in de back, trying
to knock it out his throat.
LIGE: Say, dat puts me in de mind of a Baptist brother that was crazy
'bout de preachers and de preacher was crazy 'bout feeding his face.
So his son got tired of trying to beat dese stump-knockers to de grub
on the table, so one day he throwed out some slams 'bout dese
preachers. Dat made his old man mad, so he tole his son to git out.
He boy ast him "Where must I go, papa?" He says, "Go on to hell I
reckon ... I don't keer where you go.
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