It was harder even than the thought that
Alicia and I cared for the same man, who perhaps cared for neither
of us. At that I fell into an agony of weeping.
That passed. I was spent and empty. But the calm of acceptance had
come. I wasn't to lose my grip, nor wear the willow. The idea of me,
Sophy Smith, wearing the willow, aroused my English common-sense. I
refused to be ridiculous.
And then I looked up and saw him coming toward me, his great dog
trotting at his side. I pulled myself together, and smiled; for
Boris was thrusting his friendly nose into my palm, and rubbing his
fine head against my shoulder, and his master had dropped lightly
down beside me.
I had not seen Mr. Jelnik for several days, and it struck me
painfully that the man was pale, that his step dragged, and the
brightness of his beauty was dimmed. He looked older, more careworn.
If he was glad to see me, it was at first a troubled gladness, for
he started, and bit his lip. I wondered, not with jealousy, but with
pain, if there was somebody, some beautiful and high-born lady, at
sight of whom his heart might have leaped as mine did now. Was it,
perhaps, to forget such a one that he had exiled himself?
"You are such a serene, restful little person!" he said presently,
and a change came over his tired face; "and I am such a restless
one! You soothe me like a cool hand on a hot forehead.
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