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Oemler, Marie Conway, 1879-1932

"A Woman Named Smith"

Only twice did she fall from grace; once was the
morning The Author broke his own record for waffles. Fernolia,
excited and astonished, placed the last platter before him, raised
the cover with a flourish, and remarked with deep meaning:
"_Dem's all!_"
The second time was when we had what Mary Magdalen calls "mulatto
rice," which is a dish built upon a firm foundation of small strips
of bacon, onion, stewed tomatoes, and rice, and a later and last
addition of deliciously browned country sausages. Fernolia, beaming
upon The Author hospitably, broke her parole:
"You ain't called to skimp yo'self none on dat rice," she told him
confidentially. "De cook done put yo' name in de pot _big_. She say
she glad we-all got man in de house to 'preciate vittles. Yes-_suh_,
Ma'y Magdalen aim to make you bust yo' buttonholes whilst you hab de
chanst."
I am told that The Author always makes a great hit when he tells
that on himself, and is considered tremendously clever because he
can imitate Fernolia's soft South Carolina drawl.
Mr. Nicholas Jelnik, whom he managed to meet within the week,
aroused The Author's professional interest. For once his tried and
tested powers of turning other people's minds inside out failed
utterly.


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