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Oemler, Marie Conway, 1879-1932

"A Woman Named Smith"

To my mind, the best place for cats is under the grape
arbor."
"Let us strike a bargain. You keep your chickens in your own yard,
and we'll keep our cats in our own house."
"Compromise: you get a dog," suggested the doctor.
"Perhaps I may. I've always wanted a poodle."
"I said a _dog_!" said the doctor, lifting his lip. "A poodle! In
Hynds House! The lamented Sophronisba had a bloodhound."
"The lamented Sophronisba could have what she chose. This
Sophronisba prefers a poodle."
"_Sophronisba?_ What! Another one? Good God!" cried the doctor. "All
right! Get a poodle. Keep the cats. Get a parrot--and an orphan
with the itch--and a hyena--and a blunderbuss! _Her name is
Sophronisba_!--I--oh, Lord, where's Jelnik? I have got to go and
warn Jelnik!" And he made for the door.
At that Alicia laughed. Peal upon peal, like silver bells,
irrepressibly, infectiously, irresistibly, Alicia laughed. She cries
with her eyes open and her mouth shut, and she laughs with her eyes
shut and her mouth open. The effect is beyond all words enchanting.
The doctor paused in his headlong flight.
"All right: laugh!" he said, darkly. "But I shall warn Jelnik, none
the less!" And muttering: "_Sophronisba!_ Lord have mercy on us!
_Sophronisba!_" he departed hastily.


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