A longer and more detailed article on "How to Choose a Stunter," by the
Bishop of Solder and Man, with which is incorporated "A Few Hints on
Banking for Beginners," by Sir JOHN BRADBURY, will appear in next week's
issue.
[This is the first I have heard of it.--ED.]
* * * * *
From a Menu:--
"Special this day: Boiled Rabbi and Pork."
A clear case of adding insult to injury.
* * * * *
[Illustration: UNDER THE SHADOW OF THE DERBY.
_Nurse_. "PLEASE IS THIS THE WAY TO THE GRAND PARADE?"
_Soured Spinster_. "DON'T MENTION THE HORRID THING, YOUNG WOMAN, AND ME
WITH HALF-A-MONTH'S PENSION ON THE PANTHER."]
* * * * *
BALLADE OF APPROACHING BALDNESS.
I'm back in civil life, all brawn and chest,
Lungs made of leather, heart as right as rain;
I still could dine off bully-beef with zest;
I've never had a scratch or stitch or sprain;
Life seems to throb in every single vein.
Yet I'm a whited sepulchre, in brief;
I've one foot in the grave, I'm on the wane,
I'm heading for the sere and yellow leaf.
From Mons to Jericho I've borne my crest
And back from Jericho to Mons again;
I've sampled smells in Araby the Blest
Would burst a boiler or corrode a drain;
The Blankshires have a port that raises Cain--
I've messed with them and never come to grief;
And yet I'm dashing like a non-stop train
Full steam into the sere and yellow leaf.
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