BEST THING _YOU_ CAN DO IS TO GIMME BACK ME 'SUB' AN' SELL YER
BLOOMIN' DOGS!"]
* * * * *
[ILLUSTRATION: _BLUSTEROUS PERSON_ (_WHO HAS FORCED A CIGAR ON
UNWILLING CLUB ACQUAINTANCE_), "THERE MY BOY--YOU DON'T OFTEN SMOKE A
THING LIKE THAT! THAT'S SOMETHING LIKE A CIGAR, EH?"
_The Victim_. "YES--SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT?"]
* * * * *
THE TRUE SONG-STUFF.
[A writer in an evening paper describes a certain song as
being sung, "sometimes with a lump in the throat and a tear in
the eye," all over England.]
If you wish to succeed as a writer
Of songs that undoubtedly count,
By making the atmosphere brighter,
The moral barometer mount,
Then be it your aim and endeavour to try
For the lump in the throat and the tear in the eye.
SCRIABINE and STRAVINSKY may flatter
The ears of the brainy _elite_,
But the musical numbers that matter
Express what is simple and sweet;
You may easily miss, by aspiring too high,
Both the lump in the throat and the tear in the eye.
Though cynics conspire to repress it,
To sentiment, "heavenly link"
(As the Bard of Savoy would address it),
With joy "I eternally drink;"
For it gives us the key, which no science can buy,
To the lump in the throat and the tear in the eye.
But, if you are anti-Victorian
And, scorning the coo of the dove,
Hold the roar of the primitive Saurian
The final expression of love,
You may have, if you choose, an alternative shy
At a tear in the throat and a lump in the eye.
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