I muttered, in a low voice, "Why should I live longer?
Why should I drag a miserable being? All for whom I ought to live
have perished. Am I not myself hunted to death?"
At that moment my despair suddenly became vigorous. My nerves were
no longer unstrung. My powers, that had long been deadened, were
revived. My bosom swelled with a sudden energy, and the conviction
darted through my mind, that to end my torments was, at once,
practicable and wise.
I knew how to find way to the recesses of life. I could use a
lancet with some skill, and could distinguish between vein and
artery. By piercing deep into the latter, I should shun the evils
which the future had in store for me, and take refuge from my woes
in quiet death.
I started on my feet, for my feebleness was gone, and hasted to the
closet. A lancet and other small instruments were preserved in a
case which I had deposited here. Inattentive as I was to foreign
considerations, my ears were still open to any sound of mysterious
import that should occur. I thought I heard a step in the entry.
My purpose was suspended, and I cast an eager glance at my chamber
door, which was open.
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