I should have supposed some casual obstruction
and repeated my efforts to surmount it. But now my mind was
accessible to no conjecture but one. The door was hindered from
opening by human force. Surely, here was a new cause for affright.
This was confirmation proper to decide my conduct. Now was all
ground of hesitation taken away. What could be supposed but that I
deserted the chamber and the house? that I at least endeavored no
longer to withdraw the door?
Have I not said that my actions were dictated by frenzy? My reason
had forborne, for a time, to suggest or to sway my resolves. I
reiterated my endeavors. I exerted all my force to overcome the
obstacle, but in vain. The strength that was exerted to keep it
shut was superior to mine.
A casual observer might, perhaps, applaud the audaciousness of this
conduct. Whence, but from a habitual defiance of danger, could my
perseverance arise? I have already assigned, as distinctly as I am
able, the cause of it. The frantic conception that my brother was
within, that the resistance made to my design was exerted by him,
had rooted itself in my mind.
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